barublogThe Struggle of Keeping Kesh in a Modern World
In today’s world keeping Kesh (hair) has become an issue for some men and women. However, our sisters struggle the hardest to maintain Sikhi saroop in this western society whilst dealing with the images bombarded by the media all around us of what an ideal woman should look like. No longer is it seen natural to have hair on your arms and legs. I have even heard non-Sikh young men saying it is disgusting to see men have hair on their chest and arms, which I found shocking. People are becoming more and more insecure about themselves, moving away from natural beauty and inner grace and conforming to peer pressure, fashion fads and idolising celebrities. For this reason it is an honour to see young men and women keep their Kesh, shine in the glory of Guru Gobind Singh jee and lead the world rather than follow the world.
Bhenji Navrup Kaur Ji’s Personal Journey with Kesh
Bhenji Navrup Kaur jee from UK, a dedicated sevadaar who promotes Sikhi in local Gurmat classes and camps wrote an article about her personal story of keeping Kesh and dealing with excessive facial hair (which is a taboo subject). She has also held workshops on the issue of bibiaa and kesh.
This post was originally posted on www.SikhAnswers.com on a question about some women having excessive facial hair and how to cope etc. I know it is a sensitive issue, however I think the Sangat will find it inspiring, Singhs and Singhniaa will appreciate the challenges our sisters face and also encourage sisters to find support from fellow sisters. Bhenji Navrup Kaur has given permission to re-post on my blog and on SikhNet.
Bhenji Navrup Kaur Ji’s Personal Journey with Kesh
All my life I was told that it was wrong to cut the kesh on my head, but the kesh on my body – underarms, eyebrows, upper lip etc was okay in Sikhi. I was SO paranoid of my kesh that I wasted thousands of pounds on hair removal… for what? To be free. Thing is, I would get some sort of expensive AND painful (I might add) hair removal treatment done and would have this temporary feeling of beauty because one week later I would start to see the kesh growing back.
The Pressure of Beauty Standards and Hair Removal
I would hate myself and think, why can’t I look like the women on TV. Then I heard of the miracle treatment called Lazer hair removal. I was told that the kesh would NEVER return… how amazing is this. So I went for a consultation in Central London. I was told the kesh would never come back if I come for a minimum of 6 treatments over 5 months. This would cost me about £600. So I did it, and it was shocking that the kesh came back… I was so disheartened but continued with the hope that one day the treatment may work. Others that went with me for treatments (with not even close to the amount of kesh I had) also found that the kesh kept returning. After finishing university I really wanted to get into the film industry and as a freelancer was not able to afford the treatments so I was waxing and shaving my face instead. Vaheguru 🙁
A Life-Changing Visit to India and Embracing Sikhi
In 2007 I went to India. There my life changed and I made a commitment to walk the path of Sikhi. I stopped meat, cigarettes, sharaab that very day but kesh… it was too big a step to take. I tried to grow the kesh on my face but it would hurt me to look in the mirror, plus friends and family would harass me. I tried to be clever and bleach but a Gursikh (male) said to me, don’t do that – it looks worse. I got electrolysis done, and that was really expensive. I felt it was working… and then surprise, surprise, the kesh came back.
The Turning Point: Acceptance and Embracing Natural Beauty
One day at a Gurmat camp, the question of kesh came up and a male gursikh said, “have you ever thought to yourself, that if it keeps growing that its meant to be there?” Vaheguru it was so logically, what was I doing… Guru wanted me to look this way. After that I let go and accepted myself. Months later, Guru blessed me with His Amrit. It was at this point that I visited the doctor who said,”I think you have PCOS and I want to cure this naturally”.
PCOS, Health Changes, and the Impact on Facial Hair
So I was exercising 3 times a week, eating lots of fruit and veg and was cutting out crisps, chocolates, cakes etc… within the space of 4 months, I went from a size 16 to a size 12. My monthly cycle was somewhat normal, and the kesh miraculously had thinned out so much that a fellow Gursikh questioned if I had done something to my kesh. LOL!
After I had my baby, my PCOS spiked again and the kesh came back, but now, I am onMetformin and regularly visit my doctor to keep an eye on the condition. This method is working.
Learning to Be True to Yourself in the Film Industry
I worked for 7 years in the film industry. I sat across the table from movie stars and high level executives, and I saw that they respect you more because you have the ability to do what they cannot… be you! Be natural. Not be a slave to the outside world’s conditioned expectations of what is beautiful.
The important thing to know is that the kesh is a part of who you are. Once you accept that, then and only then, will you feel content within your own skin – then everything will become easier. The hair removal adverts on TV use language to enslave you, such as “Free yourself”, “Discover your true self”… I think to myself, they do not even know me. I am free… Why? Because Vaheguru knows me… and He knows ‘I’m Worth it!’ (((:-)
Final Tip: Keep Trying and Never Give Up
TIP: Regularly remind yourself of Great GurSikhs who obtained Shaheedi for Kesh… Read and watch the films. Talk about it over and over with Sangat. This will help to empower you! Also, if you are trying to keep kesh on a part of your body and you fall, just keep trying… Never give up giving up! Remember, you are You!
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